‹ Neurodivergent (ADHDers, Autistics and More) plus parents of ND kids · back to groups
💬 Neurodivergent (ADHDers, Autistics and More) plus parents of ND kids
— start of conversation —
Tue, 28 Apr 2026
77275219386398
Hi all—any particular wisdom on deploying my kid's first phone? She’s finishing 8th grade and I’ve held out as long as I could (maybe too long?!). She has an Apple Watch, which has been great. I love the connectivity without the camera. I wish we could just stick with this for the foreseeable future, but socially it is untenable. She is literally the only one in all of her groups that does not have a phone. The other kids are all on their phones during “downtime” between games, waiting for rides, etc while she stands there alone. They share memes, links, and pics that she can’t see and then can’t participate in the “conversation.” Wisdom? Lessons learned? Advice? Consolation? Thank you!
13:20
Consolation for sure! Good luck with it 🙂
13:21
After much back and forth and some misuse / overuse of apps, I instituted pretty firm parental controls (I recommend using Gemini or ChatGPT to walk through exactly how to set them up correctly, they’re stupidly complicated!). We don’t have app time limits anymore since the time controls are hard to manage and frustrating, but we have agreed on which apps she is allowed to have (very few), and her phone sleeps in my bedroom, not hers. In addition, when she’s doing homework she will proactively leave the phone in another room so that it doesn’t distract her. Hope this is helpful! It really depends on your particular kid, be transparent!
13:24
I also remind her from time to time that it is actually *my* phone and I’m letting her use it, and part of the condition of her having it is that I’m allowed to look at her texts and I will do so periodically to make sure that she’s safe and making good decisions.
13:25
Oh my gosh, love this! Thank you!
13:45
I had more success with the Bark Phone for my second ND kiddo after the first one started with an iPhone and it became a hot mess….
22:30
Wed, 29 Apr 2026
77275219386398
Smart adjustment! I think that anything other than the “real deal” at this point would be super insulting, but maybe for #2 :-).
11:32
v 7141284 · 2026-07-07 14:40Z